Do you ever have those days where you just want to say fuck the world and everyone in it. The days where you just want to bum around and watch Friends all day. The days you don’t want to talk to anyone and let your mind breathe. Not have to worry about the next drama-ridden “life crisis” someone’s going to throw your way. Not having to change out of your PJs. Not having to eat anything besides Cool Ranch Doritos and French Onion dip.
In the world of people with disabilities, it’s almost impossible to have a day like this. Everyday having to watch the clock and making sure we’ll be home in time for our next PA to come and help us pee at 3pm. And then again at 9pm. And having to talk to them while they’re there to prevent any awkward silence.
We don’t have the choice to not have company over or to not have a care in the world. In our world, our care is our world. Our world consists of having to constantly think about things like if I shouldn’t drink too much water to make myself not have to pee until my next PA comes in 6 hours. Or making a mental list of things I have to get done around the house that I need a PA to help me do, like mop the floors. Or taking out the trash that smells like last weeks jungle juice.
In our world, our care is our world.
In a way, it’s nice to have company instead of being a complete loner. But having a day completely to yourself with no interruption is close to impossible when you have to rely on people to completely relevant daily tasks.